Saturday, November 26, 2011

peeled and pepper sprayed!

as i sit here sipping a cup (remember that means gallon) of coffee from my new brewer, which i attained on black friday, i wanna know.
Black Friday: who did it? who killed it? who came away with scars?
i was watching the news yesterday with Mario after a late lunch and...WHAT THE HECK!? a woman in florida peppersprayed a crowd of people, including children, in effort to get a "hot deal"....seriously?
*astonished*
can you imagine her facebook status? "_____ just maced some kids and got a $5 set of PJs!!! woot!"
in NYC (i believe) someone started firing a gun!
at walmart here in Dallas...it was literally like someone unwrapped sirloin steaks in front of starving hyenas. i swear, people were growling. i wish i had thought faster and recorded it. all of the sudden people were shouting, growling, pushing, pulling....there were slippers, movies, pajamas, board games, coffee makers, mini choppers (which i wanted sooo bad), FLYING through the air. no joke. i literally turned and went the other way. terrifying. consumerism at it's best right there. i'm not sure i want to participate next year. we only stayed for an hour, but it scarred me for life. however, i did get some great deals on gifts...it's better to give than receive right? and the fact that i risked my life to get those gifts makes them even better, right? (throw me a bone here...)


in other news, last night Mario and i decided to try the DIY Biore Strips i found on pinterest a while back...
it's a super easy, quick recipe, that makes a SUPER sticky substance...
DIY Biore Strips
1 tbsp UNFLAVORED gelatin (do not get a flavor...i cannot promise you won't turn out kiwi green)

1-2 tbsp milk
mix the two together, and pop it in the microwave for no longer than 15 seconds (we're trying to peel your skin, not burn it off)
then IMMEDIATELY (seriously) start gooping it on your trouble zones...aka the T zone (chin nose forehead). this stuff hardens up suuuuper fast. no joke. You can use a popsicle stick to put it on if you want, but we didn't have any so I just used my fingers (i washed my hands as soon as i got done putting it on).
wait about 10 minutes, or until it's totally dry. there will be no question that it's dry because you will be unable to make facial expressions. seriously.
take pictures and send them to me.
now, remember back in elementary school, when you'd get elmer's glue all over you hands, sometimes accidently, sometimes on purpose, and it was a blast to peel off?
welcome back to 2nd grade.
start peeling!
at this time i feel the need to give you a very serious and very important warning. DO NOT GET THIS IN YOUR EYEBROWS. i'm pretty sure you could use this stuff as wax. it will rip out each and every one of your hairs. be careful. (however, if you do get it in there, have no fear, you can just use warm water to soak it off...but then it defeats the purpose of the peel)

pretty cool huh?
i wish i could say i had this easy of a time...but all those warnings i gave you? yeah...speaking from experience. at least it provided me and Mario some MUCH needed laughter (after a terrifying black friday experience) for about an hour...in between tears of pain at losing all the peach fuzz on my face. yikes!

so remember folks, watch the eyebrows (and eyes apparently) on black friday.

4 comments:

  1. You are so awesome ... I heart you lol You gave me a good chuckle by the way i could so picture you ripping out hair on your face and laughing and screaming!

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  2. Emily, Black Friday in Seward is still pretty tame. There were about 96,873,492 people (they had to park in the grass AROUND the parking lot), but most of them were genial and polite, even with a grievous shortage of shopping carts. Glad you made it out without being maimed and I love your blog! Looking forward to more! PS I will be looking for you on Pinterest. Isn't it grand!!??

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  3. Wait, Sweetheart! I don't know your married name! lol I can't find you on Pinterest. Help me! glendasembree@gmail.com

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  4. Chantel, glad you enjoyed. and yes, that was pretty much the effect ;)

    Miss Glenda!! So good to hear from you :) I'm so glad you enjoyed the blog, sorry there isn't more, but have no fear! i'll continue writing soon! also, my married name is Gomez! i'll look for you! <3

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